Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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