I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
