hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
