he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
