i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize