Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize