closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.