we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dating After Heartbreak
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.