Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.