Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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(317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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(709): I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning http://tfl.nu/z1rc

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(518): View more from New York

i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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(518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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(215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

(703): View more from Virginia

mine is 'the'.

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(202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

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(203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(217): It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol. http://tfl.nu/d6go

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

(636): View more from Missouri

Yup.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yup.

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(314): hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup. http://tfl.nu/bp2u

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(205): View more from Alabama

Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position

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(205): Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position http://tfl.nu/050n

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(214): View more from Texas

There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.

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(214): There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/17ls

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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(910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk

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(937): View more from Ohio

She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?

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(937): She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity? http://tfl.nu/jd0w

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(847): View more from Illinois

He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

(312): View more from Illinois

So... He's a barber?

(847): View more from Illinois

No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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(847): He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part. (312): So... He's a barber? (847): No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it? http://tfl.nu/hrcs

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

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(307): I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker http://tfl.nu/4xt0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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(402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u

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