Whod you bang
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS