pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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