it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
