i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
