i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
