wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
