She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
