so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
