When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
