it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
