watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish you could order shots online.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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