I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
