if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize