thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
