I've blown a few things in my day
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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