Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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