you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
