erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I got her a Nickelback box set.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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