Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
