I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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