I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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