What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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