I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
