people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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