My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i think my cat just said my name.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
