Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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