he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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