Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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