Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
