That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
