Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
