Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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