your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
