if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
