Have you finally orgasmed yet?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
