I need help removing her.
4 words: hood of his car
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
