I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
