I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How external is "for external use only"?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
