Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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