I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
