# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
