Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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