Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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