hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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