So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize