You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
