I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
