Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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