dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
