id be glad to
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
