now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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