Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
