there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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