If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize