Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize