where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
