It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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