that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
