I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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